Are you as excited as I am that we got the King of England crowned this weekend? At least that’s one chore we can scratch off our to-do list!
Since I’m not a fan of royalty, I was paying no attention to the coronation’s solemnity/silliness (depending on your orientation to the crown), but one thing did catch my eye: The crown. That is some hat!
As a longtime wearer of plain-ol’ cowboy hats, it’s hard for me to imagine donning a 372-year-old, solid gold, ermine-lined bonnet encrusted with a world of slave-mine precious jewels – 2,800 diamonds, 17 sapphires, 11 emeralds, and 269 pearls. The royal palace reports that it was made and first used to crown Charles II in 1661.
But the newly crowned Charles III (aka Charles Philip Arthur George Mountbatten-Windsor) might reflect on the fact that Chas II’s predecessor ended his reign with a crown intact, but minus his head.
Another factoid that impressed me is that this medieval adornment symbolizing British monarchy weighs five pounds. That’s a load! My heaviest Stetson weighs in at under half a pound. So, peasant curiosity made me wonder how a five-pounder would feel. Not having an actual crown, I scooted over to the local supermarket, walked down the baking goods aisle, and (as nonchalantly as possible) balanced a five-pound bag of flour on atop my head. Yes, really.
Not only does the weight make the wearer totally dysfunctional, but it made me realize that the whole idea of a sovereign crown is as silly as strutting around with a sack of flour on your head, pretending to be a God-ordained ruler.
A couple of years ago, a stranger in a local bar complimented me on my hat, an old, well-worn felt with several knicks and residual stains of beer, dirt, and barbeque sauce. Yeah, I said, it’s been a lot of miles with me. “No,” he said, “it ain’t the hat, it’s the head. The hat’s gotta fit the head.” Charles might want to ponder that.
Updated 5/9/23, 10:00am. An earlier version of this post indicated that Charles II was beheaded, but in fact, it was Charles I. Thanks to our loyal subscribers for pointing this out in the comments!
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It was Charles I that lost his head. Not his son Charles II.
Jim, I love your comments and I particularly enjoyed your wearing a sack of flour. However, I do have to correct you as to what Charles lost his head (and his crown) It was Charles I who lost his battle with the Puritans