Vangunu, one of the Solomon Islands, is home to a giant species of rodent called Vika. Astonishingly, this rare and very large rat has jaws so powerful it can bite through a coconut shell!
That made me think of Rep. Jim Jordan, the GOP’s rattiest, far-right-wing congress critter. There is no documented proof that this extremist partisan was raised on Vangunu, but he sure keeps gnawing on Joe and Hunter Biden, desperately trying to crack open a scandal that simply doesn’t exist. Vikas are powerful, but they’ve not been accused of being smart.
Jordan, the former coach of a boy’s wrestling team, now has his team of House Republicans in a choke hold, draining national media attention to his goofy obsession with impeaching Joe. Impeach him for what? Well, says Jordan, we’re looking for a reason.
He has it bassackwards – real impeachment proceedings start with specific charges of an official’s “high crimes and misdemeanors.” But Coach Jordan is perverting that Constitutional requirement by first accusing Biden of high crimes, then holding hearings in hopes of finding one. But poor Jim – it turns out to be easier for him to bite through a coconut than to fabricate a Biden crime.
But Jordan keeps gnawing, wasting Congress’ time, staff, and credibility (plus millions of taxpayer’s dollars) scuttling down trails that go nowhere. Meanwhile, as he and the GOP House prioritize their clownish political agenda, they can’t perform the basics of government, which is simply to keep essential public services funded and functioning.
Unable to govern, Republican leaders abruptly stopped working in the House in early December, saying they’ll get serious next year. But, uh-oh, the vika congressman has just announced he’ll hold more impeachment hearings next year so he can keep gnawing at the Biden coconut.
The Rattiest Right-Wing Congress Critter